My Birthday Post
The Answer is 42
I love June and not only because it’s my birthday month. It’s Gemini season, Pride month, the start of Summer and school is out! This is perhaps the most adventurous year for me since perhaps my Saturn return (and the last year of the Horse). In deciding to leave my employment of the past 9 years, I feel as though I am jumping from a swimming pool (a very nice one) into the wild cold of ocean waves. It is exciting and uncertain; it is as scary as it is enlivening.
For my 42nd birthday post, I’ve decided to have a little fun and interview myself (yes, so Gemini, I know) using the questions presented on one of my new favorite Substacks, Oldster. It’s an online magazine that explores age at pretty much any age (it’s not about actually being “old,” but about however old you are, and everything that means to people).
So here it goes, and just in case you got the sudden temptation to buy me a birthday present, you can be rest assured I have EVERYTHING (including towels) I need to make my hitchhiker’s way through the universe. However, it would make my day, my world, my 42-years if you became a paid subscriber to this Substack (and why not Oldster too, while you’re at it, because being on Substack ROCKS!).
How old are you?
42, which also happens to be the answer to “life, the universe and everything” according to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
Depends on the day. I am starting to get used to, sort of, “moods of age.” Sometimes I feel “old” and tired. Mostly I still feel the enthusiasm of an 11 year-old kid.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I feel young for my age. It might be because I have never been a birth mother. Maybe I associate maturity with those true hardships of early parenting.
What do you like about being your age?
I am feeling MUCH more comfortable in my skin. More of an acceptance of who I am.
What is difficult about being your age?
I don’t tolerate even well-meaning bullshit anymore (but maybe this is a good thing).
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
When I was younger, being in one’s 40s seemed old, like the interesting part of your life was over. I am now realizing it is perhaps one of the best decades of youthful vigor mixed with equal parts experience and self-knowledge.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
Aging has given me more agency in the world. It has taken away from me the ability to run.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
Though I haven’t had biological children, I have found it interesting moving from a “maiden” phase of life to a “mother” phase of life. I look with intrigue and bewilderment at the approaching crone years.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
The next milestone that a woman of my age faces is the milestone of menopause. I am looking for more stories from women about their experience because it still seems to be pretty mysterious to me, since it seems different for everyone. It feels like I have another puberty to look forward to.
